Should I Communicate with my Spouse During Our Divorce?

I think this question will get different answers from different attorneys, and I think the main difference will revolve around the individual attorney’s opinion on the “best way” to resolve your marital issues.  Here are the two viewpoints:

Do Not Communicate with Your Spouse

A lawyer may recommend that you not communicate with your spouse during the divorce if he/she feels like a trial and decision by a judge or for the lawyers to solely negotiate the outcome of the case are the best ways to resolve your case.

Of course, there may be times when you and your spouse do not need to speak with one another regardless of the opportunity to settle.  When there is a history of abuse (both mental and physical) or if things always escalate into an argument or a fight then you may want to hold off on working with them.

Communicate with Your Spouse

When an attorney encourages you to speak with your spouse during the course of your divorce case, it is usually because they recognize that you and your spouse know more about your case than anyone else on the earth and that you are in a better position to know what you need in order to resolve your case.  All that said; however, your attorney knows what you are entitled to receive in your divorce case, so you should consider your attorney’s advice on what not to give up in your negotiations with your spouse.

What Should You Do?

I think it is ultimately up to you.  Your attorney may encourage you to communicate with your spouse or he may ask you not to speak to your spouse about your case to allow him to assist you through the negotiations to make sure you aren’t taken advantage of by your spouse.  You know yourself and if you believe you are likely to be influenced by your spouse to accept something that is not in your best interest or less than you are entitled to, you should probably make that known to your attorney so he knows that you should have limited communication with your spouse on your own when it comes to negotiating in your case.

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